November, 2004
Newbie Parents

When Kai was born, it was like a Royal Wedding. Cards and gifts flooded in, everyone turned out to see our little man, and cameras flashed in every direction. Now we all now what has happened to royal weddings after the initial rah-rah has died down, and so it was with our new baby. Jed and I found ourselves floundering a bit (well, more than a bit), and wondering why two grown-ups with college degrees and worldly experiences under their belts, couldn't manage to calm one little baby.
He was a great baby, only he cried a lot. We could quite competently feed him, change him, bathe him, and cuddle him, but sometimes we simply could not soothe him. And we had had no previous hint of just how distressing that could be. He'd go from being a content little bundle, to suddenly wailing on and on like a dumped teenage girl.
When I was still about 8 months pregnant, I'd seen a pediatrician on TV who claimed he could calm any crying baby. I'd jotted down his name, and when Kai was about a week old, I scoured the library and found his book. It helped a bit. Then, as if he was telepathically connected to his reading audience and knew we needed a bit of personal assistance, he scheduled an appearance in our area. So Jed and I bundled our 2-week-old Kai into his infant-carrier-come-car-seat and headed off to listen to what Dr. Harvey Karp had to say about calming crying babies.
Funny thing happened just after the good Dr. got up on stage and started his talk... we couldn't hear him over our crying baby! So our little man made his public stage debut at the age of 2 weeks. Dr. Karp used Kai as his guinea-pig, demonstrating how to calm a wailing newborn. If you ever run into the problem, buy his book. He's really very good. "The Happiest Baby On The Block" is the title, and he has another for toddlers (will need that soon).
In a nutshell, he talked about babies really needing an extra 3-months in the womb, but the delivery being a tad difficult if that were to happen, thus we "push 'em out prematurely" at 9 months, and should then create a womb-like environment for the next 3 months. The sudden reality-shift for our little guy after his delivery had left him unhappy, and needing a little mummy-tummy-simulation. Dr. Karp recommended 5 steps to do this:
1. Swaddle Involves wrapping the baby tightly, like a burrito.
2. Side or stomach Laying babies on their backs stimulates their falling reflexes. In turn, they can't sleep. Just have to be VERY watchful for a clear airway on their side or stomach.
3. Shhhh. Repeated in the baby's ear, like Mummy's heartbeat and rushing pulse.
4. Swing Motion, as opposed to dance-style, although the latter does a great job, too.
5. Suck. A thumb, finger, or dummy (pacifier) is the final soothing touch.

We found this worked pretty well. Our main challenge with Mr. 2-weeks-old-but-that-doesn't-mean-you-can-boss-me-around was swaddling him well enough that he little flailing hands didn't sneak out of the wrap and undo it all. For a tiny thing with a floppy head, our baby sure was a little Houdini. Jed mastered the baby-burrito wrap, and I called on him often to re-do my wraps after Kai proved he could outwit, outplay & outsmart me.

The cry-baby stage (for those unlucky souls who encounter it) usually ends at around 12 weeks. That was definitely true for us, and the closer we got to Christmas, the more sanity returned to our little household. Kai was happier and so were we.

All I want for Christmas is 5 hours sleep...
Peta